Screenwriting Exercise (with a trimming moral)

Yesterday we had our last screenwriting class. It went from 9am to 10 pm. We spent the entire day reading and critiquing each other's screenplays one at a time. But before that we started the morning out with a stream of consciousness exercise. The only instructions that we were given were: Write exterior, creek, day.....David skips a rock on the water. We had around 10 minutes to write. This is mine. (In the future youtube cult classic, David Barr will star opposite an animated Grateful Dead Bear/Carebear type almost twice his size in a completely realist scenic location)

EXT. - CREEK - DAY

DAVID skips a rock on the water. He hears a LOUD NOISE in the bushes and turns.

Emerging from the bushes comes a PURPLE BEAR eating from a box of Teddy Grahams.

David runs.

DAVID

Aaaaahhhhh!

The bear TELEPORTS in front of David.

PURPLE BEAR
Don't be afraid, David. I'm not going to eat you. I've got all I need right here.

David looks at the box of tasty treats.

DAVID
I don't understand what these saucers I call eyes are seeing. Golly gee, Mr. Bear. Why not eat me? I'm all alone and you're a hungry purple bear that talks.

PURPLE BEAR
David, I like you. You make me laugh. You state the obvious like you're trying to inform an audience of what they can surmise for themselves.

DAVID
Heavens to Betsy, Mr. Bear! I guess you're right! Say there, what's your name?

The Purple Bear takes a pawful of Teddy Grahams and hands them to David.

PURPLE BEAR
Well David, some call me something different than Purple Bear, but that's none of your business.

David eats the Teddy Grahams.

DAVID
(chewing with his mouth open)
Wow, I bet you've got quite a story to tell.

PURPLE BEAR
It sure does pack a wallop. Well, I guess first I should say, I'm not a natural bear.

DAVID
Yeah, you're purple. And you talk!

PURPLE BEAR
Ha ha! Redundancy is fun, isn't it, David? Well, you're right. But I'm also a cannibal bear. I only eat other bears. That's what cannibal means, David. I'm trying to get off the real thing with these here crackers.

DAVID
Cool!