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Overqualified

My friend and I are competing for the same job.
The application deadline is fast approaching,
And I can’t contain my excitement.

My references will attest to not only my eagerness for this position,
But also to my skill set which I have honed for years.
Can I really get paid to live the dream?

My friend thinks he has experience in this area.
His mistaken assumption encourages me in my pursuit
Of being paramount in the field of endless leisure.

While the qualifications are a tall order
The employer will find that my ideals are unsurpassed,
My ability to spend large quantities of cash….more than sufficient.

Example of my matchless knack for living said dream:
Yesterday – 2:24pm – Bombay

• Witty repartee in plaza with woman donning the latest fashionable waist sash.
• Perceived awestruck looks from bystanders.
• Proceeded to go poolside.

But really, all of that is irrelevant,
Because I’m late for my lunch meeting at Shoney’s - Montgomery, AL
Where Phil is awaiting my contact sheet.

As a visionary who reaps the reward of the journey never taken,
I feel that I am best fit for this post that will indefinitely require my utmost
As I forge ahead to a territory previously reserved for the magnate and philanthropist.

Belz/Withington

Split Screen

Max and I are at it again. In future days we will be the editors of our own poetry anthology. The first poetry team ever (maybe). Belz/Withington. But before we actually start writing together, here is another joint idea we wrote separately on. Whose what is whose?

Split Screen

i.
This conversation would be better
If we were viewable on a split screen--
You in your curiosity and grace,
Me in my witticisms and space.

Like a stormy news show,
We exchange ideas and react.
Only divided by a line, thin and green
Down the middle of the screen.

Best of all, I could watch us talk
And take note of my own expression.
I mean literally take notes of what I see in our reactions.
Normally, I could never be this objective.

Separate the madness with a line
One pan of the camera can't contain this.
Bisect this dialogue, and join it again.
Then we'll see if we're doing this right.

ii.
From where we stand now,
All I have to go on are my own interpretations
Of your watchfully arranged words.
It would be helpful for me to see us talking on our rotary telephones
Via split screen on my television.
You would be inside of the top left triangle.
I would inhabit the bottom right triangle.
Despite the hypotenuse that divided us,
I would be better able to know what to say
By viewing your reactions, and mannerisms.
I believe it would be an accurate gauge.

Whenever you look down to your left at the coffee table where you are painting your toenails,
I will look up to my right where a spot of water damage bulges from my dilapidated ceiling.
It might feel to me as if we are looking at each other,
And then I would get temporarily distracted from the TV in front of me,
Where we are displayed for only me to see.
Not for you.
That would defeat the purpose.

If that were the case, we might as well speak face to face,
Cloaking our natural physical responses,
Like always,
As we strive to hide our b side.
If my calculations are correct, I will never know you squared,
Because unfortunately,
Neither of us owns the rotary phones
Which would keep us within our respective triangles.
You would frequently pace off screen with your mobile…

And I would gain no new insights into you.

Inspiration anyone?

Our friend James Harrison made a short for the Watchtower Film Festival (Covenant College's first ever film festival), starring Max Belz. Asher Payne and I have cameos as his character's self- affirmed friends. Happy day!

The Internet

Max had an idea for a poetry exercise. I am all about poetry exercises. This is the result. Can you guess who wrote which one?

The Internet

i.
Someone recently told me about the “internet.”
Man, a lot of good stuff, a lot of good stuff.
Some bad stuff, but a lot of really stellar information.
I found myself being propelled forward by electronic links as if I were playing hopscotch.
My friend said that I was “surfing.” Ok.
Have you checked this thing out?
I mean, somebody is really on to something here.
I have gone through screens and screens of what seem to be an endless encyclopedia encompassing everything from useful to useless.
My friend called them “pages”…..web pages, but it still looks like a constantly altering monitor image to me. Whatever.
But what a neat invention, huh?
I kind of want to keep it to myself though, and my friend who told me about it.
If more people found out about it, I don’t think it would be as cool.
I wonder who makes all of the “pages.”
That person must be pretty smart, and old.
I hope they don’t die too soon.
It would suck to lose this thing right after I found out about it.

ii.
Someone recently told me about the "internet."
I was skeptical (I always am about these sorts of things).
He was so elated about the pros of the technology,
That he almost dropped his lit cigarette during our private smoke break.
"I won't create a need for myself that will fight for my attention,
Like a hungry dog. I won't yield to marketing ploys and idea-speak.
I want results!"
After I stopped shouting and did some quick research, I judged that it was a reasonably useful tool.
This person came to me and shared facts, stats, and Sharon Stone's birthdate--
All data readily accessed from this mysterious, somehow invisible web of information.

And that's when I was wowed.

"Think of how this could change my life," I thought.
I went to my workplace the next day
Determined to not be distracted by my ruminations on the matter.
The same guy who had originally told me about it stopped me when I entered my building.
"But what a neat invention, huh?" he said smarmily.
I acted unimpressed, but secretly was pleased with my own knowledge.
I realized that it would be beneficial to write something down about my encounter with this technology.
Not just that, but that I would lock the paper up in a safe.
It would suck to lose this thing right after I found out about it.

Superb video

This is the video that Drew Belz shot for Founders Music Video Night 2008 with the Catacombs.....and me (I drove the van). I don't think that there is anyone who cannot help but enjoy this amazing feat that was flawlessly executed.

Higher Learning

Here's what I got out of a class presentation today:

What is this like?
It is like a like.
What is a like?
It is like like,
But basically like more like,
and like like.
Not like....
But basically like.
So,
I don't know,
Like,
I think like
I want like
I do like
I knew like.
I'm through like, talking about it.
Cue my pity clap.